What Options Exist Outside Of Divorce?
Your marriage did not go according to plan, and now, you are looking for a way out. However, divorce is not the only option, and couples looking to end their marriage should explore several alternatives. These may better meet their unique needs while softening the impact on children and other affected family members.
Critically, by deciding on a route other than divorce, you may be able to avoid years-long battles in court, which can take a significant emotional and financial toll.
Let’s explore the benefits and disadvantages of four potential options that exist outside of conventional divorce.
Divorce alternative 1: Separation
If you and your partner wish to end the relationship, make separation your first step. Jumping into a full-blown divorce too quickly can lead to undesirable consequences – many of which are permanent.
What is a separation? It’s generally as simple as it sounds. One person moves out of the home, creating physical distance between the two members of the relationship. Laws vary between states, but in most cases, physical separation will not alter how family finances and property are shared.
Think of a separation as a trial divorce. The process can show you what life could look like and answer vital questions:
- Am I happy living apart from my spouse?
- Does our family have the financial resources to support two households?
- Are there any practical reasons we should stay together?
- How are other family members coping with the change?
You do not need to make your separation legally binding. However, if that is something you would like to do, you may be able to obtain a court order. These documents detail the terms of the separation, including expenses, childcare, debt, and alimony (also called spousal support).
You should also investigate the impact of a separation on your health insurance coverage. Under some policies, separation is enough to void a partner’s coverage. Under others, it’s not. If this is an important factor in your situation, be sure to investigate your insurance policy’s terms.
Finally, note that when legally separated, your marriage is still recognized by law. That means you cannot remarry. If you do wish to remarry, you must obtain a divorce decree.
Who does legal separation work best for? Couples willing to cooperate, collaborate, and engage in productive conversation.
Divorce alternative 2: Conscious uncoupling
If keeping the peace while cutting ties between you and your partner is a priority, a conscious uncoupling may prove an effective alternative or precursor to divorce.
The phrase was first used by marriage and family therapist Katherine Woodward Thomas, but it was not until actress Gwyneth Paltrow used it to describe her separation from Chris Martin in 2014 that it became well-known.
The process aims to facilitate happier, healthier breakups with minimal emotional fallout, but keep in mind it is not legally binding. For this reason, conscious uncoupling may not be a permanent solution. Still, the framework can be used to cultivate mutual respect and understanding proceeding and during a legal separation or divorce.
Divorce alternative 3: Mediation
Couples ready to dissolve their union but determined to keep their legal fees as low as possible can try mediation. Divorce mediation sees a neutral party – a mediator – help both members of the relationship negotiate the terms of their separation and reach an agreement. A mediator can help determine child custody, child support, financial responsibilities, and property division.
In most cases, an attorney will review the agreement. This extra step ensures each party is benefiting from the agreed-upon terms as equally as possible. Finally, both parties are asked to sign the divorce mediation agreement, which then becomes legally binding.
One of the key benefits of mediation is time. A mediation divorce can take several months to complete, where a conventional divorce can escalate into years of emotionally charged back-and-forth in court. Better yet, mediation is significantly less expensive.
If you choose to explore mediation, ensure you do your due diligence. Know precisely what you own, which assets are shared, and the value of any liabilities. Understand the complete picture of your family’s finances, or you could end up losing out on valuable assets.
Divorce alternative 4: Civil and religious annulments
Divorce and annulment both cut legal ties between members of a relationship. But, while a divorce legally ends a marriage, an annulment dissolves the union as if the marriage never occurred. There are two types of annulment:
- A civil annulment is granted by the court. It ends a marriage and enables involved parties to remarry if they wish. In most cases, you cannot claim spousal support following an annulment because the marriage never existed from a legal perspective. Civil annulments are not common and are typically reserved for extreme cases (for example, one party concealed a severe felony from the other). They can also become messy and drawn out, as the individual seeking annulment is required to show evidence of an intent to fraud. If you believe your situation grants a civil annulment, reach out today. Expert legal representation is critical.
- A religious annulment (also called an ecclesiastical annulment) disbands the couple’s union from a religious lens. In other words, the marriage ceases to be recognized in the ‘eyes of God.’ Following a religious annulment, parties can remarry within their faith. It’s worth noting that religious annulments do not result in a legal divorce. If you wish to enter into a legal marriage in the future, you will need to secure a divorce decree.
Take the first step toward a brighter future
Regardless of the path you choose, the breakdown of a marriage is an emotional and challenging time for you and your family members. However, with several options available to you, you can take meaningful strides toward the future you want.
If you would like professional guidance during your divorce or separation journey, please do not hesitate to reach out to us.. We would be more than happy to discuss your unique situation and answer any questions.
